Are you constantly active, running here and there, helping others, caring for family members? Do you lack time for yourself? If yes, you may lack the ability to say "no". You may lack personal boundaries.
Many caregivers want to be helpful to the expense of their own health and wellbeing. Loved ones need help and the caregiver comes running. Some caregivers give up employment only to regret this years later when their retirement savings bucket is empty. Many caregivers charge in to save the day not realizing that they will need care one day.
If you're not yet a caregiver, give thought to the situation you're about to enter and how it will affect your life. Saying "no" may be the best thing you do for yourself and a loved one. Saying "no" preserves relationships instead of making you the person, the caregiver, who does all the work.
When you remember your loved one you'll want to remember the good times, not the times when you, on your knees, were scrubbing the floor around their toilet. Prioritize your caregiving duties around quality time not tasks.
Family controversies result when caregiving needs arise for parents. Adult children who have moved away and perhaps had little contact over the years now join together to determine how best to care for a parent or parent. Conversations become critical about what one person can do and the next can't. Disagreement and anger fill the air. If you're a person who tends to be emotional, caregiving situations can bring out the worst in you and your loved ones. If your the logical one, the emotions of other members in your family can bring out the worst in you.
Why does this happen? Mostly because we lack compassion and refuse to see situations from the other side or consider another opinion. We take comments personally. We feel personally attacked. Whatever is said, is a criticism -- it's certainly always about us. We lack the ability to see that the need for care is about another person, not about our shortcomings or inability. For once, try seeing the other side and realizing it's not all about you.
Julie Powers (83)
Ron Mercier (25)
Pamela D. Wilson (18)
Amanda Barnes (16)
